This time I’ll be me
And if I fail
That’s okay
This time I’ll be me
Despite fear I’ll do it anyway
Again,
This time I’ll be me
And if I fail
That’s okay
This time I’ll be me
Despite fear I’ll do it anyway
Ha
You like that saying?
The 8th, 9th saying that I made for me
Cause in the midst of all these inspirational recitations,
Still, such words have yet to change me
I would show you my future if I could glance away from my, my history
From this person I hope not to see, yet chose to be
Cause somehow my mind keeps painting this tainted reality
But maybe it’s because thi.. thi.. this is… me…
Is this me?
A work of art that hasn’t even made it to a gallery?
In this rusted studio I’m I’m flipped, flipped, flipped backwards
Too afraid to make change so there’s a here but no after
I’ve glossed and pampered this flipped canvas, not the front but the back
It’s where my mind lives, mistakes I never unpack,
constantly backtrack as I look back
For dirt I left behind me. Hooold it. For highly treasured gold,
cause if my mind is a mine than mistakes are gold
They never grow old.
If it’s not a rerun, than I’m always rewindin’.
Don’t lose a single mistake, if I forget then I’ll find it
But despite that, this time I’ll be me
Despite this, this time, I’ll be me
I’ve been trained to display what others want to be showcased
Cause rejection leaves a smudge even after being erased
Good reputation is an enemy I’ve learned to hold on to
Cause the tighter I squeeze it the more of me I don’t show you
And I don’t want to, cause I know your capabilities
The power of your rejection is my disability
So in this rusted studio, a damaged mind you’ll never see
It’s true colors are hardly seen in the fr..freedom of reality
Cause I’ve failed to break loose to
The freedom of reality
The freedom of reality
Oh the freedom in reality
To weak to go after, and I hear laughter
Cause the enemy knows I don’t know
I was born with a mind that’s a natural disaster
Hearing negative words in my head as real truth.
“Is this true? This aint you? Na, you ain’t been real.”
I Here these phrases in my head over and over again
So I spill em’ in my actions so I’d never forget
Been fighting this mind battle since the age of ten?
Naw, since the age of time
Can’t even get ancient memories out of my mind
Mistakes of yesterday’s yesterday will be held in tomorrow’s tomorrow
Living life as if time is just an idea you can borrow
Living life as if time is an idea you can borrow
But despite that, this time I’ll be me
Despite this, this time… I’ll be me?
I’m no victim in a case of mistaken identity
But i’m watching someone else live a life in me
And I’m the thief
So I’m out of…out of… out of reach, out of reach, out of reach
Until I’ll, be, me
I’m still here, in this rusted studio,
I’m flipped, flipped, flipped, backwards
To afraid to make change
So there’s a here but no after
I’ve glossed and pampered this flipped canvas,
not the front but the back
It’s where my mind lives, I constantly backtrack
So whatever’s behind me, I’ll never miss a thing
As far as whatever’s ahead…
Until I’ll be me